"Razors pain you; Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; You might as well live."

(Dorothy Parker, nata Dorothy Rothschild, scrittrice, poetessa e giornalista; Long Branch, 22 agosto 1893 – New York, 7 giugno 1967)